Bailey takes Andrew under her wing. Her patient is a sweet older woman known as 'Granny June' who knits hats and scarves for Bailey and Deluca, and bakes everyone cookies. She is finally getting a liver transplant after three years of waiting, but the immediacy of Meredit's patient needing one almost threatens that. To everyone's surprise Granny June, the super sweet old lady, refuses to allow Meredith's patient to take the liver, even though the other woman is younger and in dire need of it.Meredith is still dodging Nathan's flirtations. She's annoyed that her patient needs a liver and she doesn't have access to the one coming to the hospital. She hangs out with Alex and considers nearly coercing the other patient to give the liver away.Owen babysits Harriet for the duration of the workday while Jackson and April are working. Harriet doesn't take to him well initially, and he takes it personally, wondering if he's any good with kids.

• Grey S Anatomy Saison 13 Streaming Episode 15

He finally gets Harriet to like him, and after spending time with her, he thinks he may be good at parenting.Amelia realizes that her cycle is late so she suspects that she might be pregnant. She keeps planning to take a pregnancy test but never gets around to it for a while. She worries whether or not she should tell Owen first or just take the test. She ends up talking about it with nearly everyone else but Owen, including bother her sisters and April.Later on she tells Owen that she thinks she might be pregnant. She takes a pregnancy test and while they wait for the results, Owen makes plans for their future kid. The pregnancy test is negative. Owen seems disappointed but she seems a bit relieved.

Meanwhile, Ben, having gone on his first firefighter ride-along, brought into Grey Sloan Eric, a 12-year-old African-American boy who’d been shot by the police while trying to get into his own house. (He’d forgotten his keys, you see.) Jackson did his best to act as a buffer between the cops, who were eager to get a statement, and Eric’s family.

But the doctor was understandably outraged. TVLINE Is this a case where God has actually given April more than she can handle?Yeah, she is kinda coming face to face with the bigger question about, if God is out there and He is good, how could He let all of this stuff happen? Why isn’t He intervening? Does He give a crap about anything? And if He does, why won’t He show up?

This leads April into a multi-episode spiral of really questioning everything she grew up believing. It’s a pretty heartbreaking storyline. But I think it echoes a lot of questions people have now, people of faith, people who are not people of faith, just because of how much suffering we are witnessing in the world and in our country. It brings up a lot of big, deep questions, which I think is a good thing.

I’m interested in telling a story about a faith that deals with doubt, and struggles with doubt and anger, and doesn’t just accept whatever is said at face value but really kind of fights to come to a kind of truth that makes sense.TVLINE And, of course, there’s no pressure on you, knowing that the audience is watching April go through this trial by fire and thinking, “Oh, please, help her out of this, so I know I don’t have to live in constant despair!” Laughs No pressure at all! But I think the story’s honest, which is what I love about this show. It has always told hard stories because they echo what people are struggling with, and hopefully gives them a space to feel things and think about things and work through things. So there’s some pressure there, for sure, but there’s also a great privilege in getting to tell a story like this.TVLINE What was April’s reaction when she realized, “Oh, Karen’s husband is Matthew”?It’s a tender and complex situation. Back in Season 10 when she ran away with Jackson, there was an episode where she mentioned to him that she’d tried to reach out to Matthew, but he had basically moved shifts so that he never had to deal with the hospital again and wouldn’t return her calls. As far as the audience knows, there’s been absolutely no closure.

So she had no idea how he was doing. I think, especially in the scene where they talk about how their lives went, and Matthew brings up, “Oh, you must have a 3-year-old, right? You found your soulmate with Jackson Isn’t it great how it all worked out for both of us?” In that moment, we played around a lot with whether that was a moment of despair for her, a moment of “Oh, maybe I made the wrong choice?” or whether it was a moment of, “I can let go of the guilt for running away with Jackson, because the suffering brought Matthew to a joyful place.

I can cling to that!” By that point in the episode, she was really trying to cling to moments of joy and also really remember that if she hadn’t run away, she wouldn’t have Harriet. And Harriet is her great joy.

Grey S Anatomy Saison 13 Streaming Episode 15

So she wouldn’t want to change anything, but her life has turned out very differently than she thought it would in the moment in the barn when she ran off with Jackson. It’s bittersweet.

TVLINE How does Vik fit into this? After this soul-crushing day, is he just like a pain reliever for April?I think so.

When April’s eyes go to camera right in that last moment in the shower, I kind of saw her joy fly out of her being. The moment with Vik is basically a “Screw it all” moment. “I’ve been following rules my whole life — for what?

What was the point of doing all of this when people get screwed? Good people get screwed, left and right, and I got screwed, left and right. I’m tired of trying to do quote-unquote the right thing.

It’s so hard. And I’m done with it.” And the pain-relief aspect isn’t specific to Vik, it could have been anyone. He just happened to be there, and she just wanted to do the quote-unquote wrong thing.TVLINE Do you think she can bounce back from this?Absolutely. This is an exploration of a maturing woman engaging in a new way of looking at things that I don’t think diminishes her belief. She has the strength to find her way back, but it’ll take a little while.So, what did you think of “Personal Jesus”? April’s “Screw it all” moment?

Paul’s demise? Eric’s senseless death? Hit the comments.